Stillness / Poetry by Sylvia Yoon Kim

1.

My life is built up in words

Those spoken and

Unspoken

 

Narrating the subtleties

I see

Wish not to see

So that

I can find it in me to

Breathe

 

I step on cobblestones

Of worn out poetry

 

As I race only to wish I was stopping

Stopping only to wish I was moving

 

Eternally moving

With dissatisfaction

 

I yearn not to yearn

 

But what I need

What I dream of is

 

Stillness

 

To stretch my hand out of the

Moving car and let my fingers

Make a dent in the dust and wind

That is the sky we live in

 

To look upon a human face and see

Another human looking into my face

 

To feel the voice of God

 

To be happy

Now

 

To jump upon mountains while my feet are oceans

To float upon oceans while my feet are mountains

 

If I could have one thing

Earnestness

 

Loving freely

Always moving

Never moving

Forever singing

 

In stillness

 

2.

Bitterness wrapped around

Naivety

 

Like a spine of spiteful thorns

Surrounding water

 

Too sweet to drink

 

I think about my old self

 

Old as in faded

Faded as in young

Young as in distant

Distant as in my longing

 

To find a balance

A steadiness

 

The warmth that comes from knowing

And not feeling the urge

To flee before beginning

 

The clarity that rises out of

Smokey fires that once blazed

But now breathe lightly on me

 

The peace and kindness that is both

Resolutely firm and a softness

Only time can produce with healing

 

I dream of finding it

And keeping it

 

To stay there

 

Wrinkled weathered skin surrounding bright eyes

 

3.

I wonder

If I ever

Left a rose petal

On your kingdom

 

My King your kingdom

Remind me of the palace

That once housed my mind

 

Touch my soul with the riches

That I used to taste

With great pleasure and joy

 

Blind my eyes with the glory

That could have been mine

Before I locked the door

 

My King your kingdom

Could it ever be mine again

 

Could this

Could that

Ever be mine

Again

 

I wish to lay a lock of my hair

On the footsteps

I wish to sneak my hand

Through the golden bars

And trace the clouds

 

My King

Your kingdom

 

Reign

 

Let not the fires

Fall

 

Let not the deadliness

Take over me

 

I want to hear the angels sing

And my lips speak

And my hands give

And my feet walk

And my arrow fling

 

For your kingdom

My King

 

Kingdom reign

Kingdom reign

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