Single NOT Ready to Mingle

Welcome to Single’s Awareness Month! February may be the shortest month of the year, but if you’re single like myself it can feel like a never ending drag of cheap chocolates and ugly teddy bears. This will be my 21st year approaching Valentine’s Day single yet again, but for once I’d like to make a change. I can remember past Valentine’s Days during college where my roommates and friends would have these romantic days planned while I sat alone in my room wishing I could have a significant other. However, sitting alone in your room while watching rom-coms and dressed in self-loathing may not be the healthiest way to spend your time. It’s time for a new point of view. Embracing single life!

The Pros of Single Life

Even though Love Month can make you feel a surge of self-pity there are many pros to being single. First, there is the obvious independence. I knew a few serious couples in college, some who even got engaged. When I spoke to a few friends in serious relationships I was shocked at how much they had to compromise, and so early in life. They sacrificed the first choice in their careers, dreams, travels, and plans to be with the one they loved. Not to say this is a negative thing, compromise in any relationship is necessary, but there is so much spectacular freedom found in being young and single. If I were attached in a serious relationship now I’d have to edit where I was to apply to jobs and maybe even the type of job so that I could be in a more secure relationship. But since I am single I feel absolutely no limitations as to where and what I can aspire to in terms of my beginning career.

Second, is time. Being in a long term relationship requires actual time spent with your partner. Now, that I am still single I can focus time on bettering myself and pursuing my dreams whole-heartedly. I’ve heard of many couples who break up simply because they have “grown a part.” But when independent in life you can be free to grow and change without it affecting a relationship that may have been built on your past self. When single, you get the wide ability to expand your interests, passions, and growth in maturity without any boundaries. You can focus much more time in your career and in pursuing your goals without worrying about maintaining a serious relationship.

Finally, a big benefit of being single during your young adult years, or any time really, you get to strengthen different relationships with family and friends. Although I’ve heard of many people finding the love of their life in college (which is great for them!), other times people may spend years in a relationship, devoting all of their attention to that one person. However, if the time comes to break up, that ended relationship may leave them noticing that they did not foster lasting relationships with friends or family. Being single is the perfect time to focus your attention to life-long friendships and strengthening the bonds in your family. Even family members can grow a part, I know from experience. So being single is the perfect opportunity to catch up with the many different important people in your life.

Single’s Guide to Valentine’s Day

If you’re single, you don’t have to spend Valentine’s Day on the couch wearing pajamas, sobbing to A Walk to Remember, while stuffing your face with cheap chocolates. In fact, you don’t have to cry at all. There is nothing wrong with you or the fact that you’re single! You can still have fun this Saturday, without a date.

Here are some ideas for a fun Single’s Celebration Day-

1. Gather your single friends and have an at-home party. Going out on Valentine’s Day can get your spirits down seeing couples surrounding you everywhere. Avoid the couples-only places and stay at home. Invite your single gals over and throw a single’s only celebration-no couples allowed!

2. Pamper yourself! Cook a lovely meal for one. If you don’t feel like spending time with absolutely anyone this Valentine’s Day, then don’t bother! Cooking can be wonderful fun and nothing can put a smile on your face quite like a delicious meal. Next stop is a bubble bath, manicure, and you’ve got yourself a relaxing holiday.

3. Have fun with your family. For this Valentine’s Day my sisters and I are catching a concert. Making plans for Valentine’s Day with the people you love, other than a boyfriend, can be just as much-or even more enjoyable. Whoever it’s with, use this day to have fun with loved ones already in your life.

4. Volunteer. Although it can be a downer to not be one half of a couple on Valentine’s Day, there are many people who are alone 365 days of the year. Whether it’s seniors, those who are sick, or people who may have gone through an extremely bad break up or even lost the love of their life, being alone can be a much more serious issue for lots of people. Giving back can bring you so much more joy than going on an awkward date this Valentine’s Day. Why not spend some time offering a helping hand and heart to those in greater need than ourselves?

Being Happy in Every Season

Here are some words of hope for those who may be struggling this Valentine’s Day.

3   1 There is a time for everything,
    and a season for every activity under the heavens:

    a time to be born and a time to die,
    a time to plant and a time to uproot,
    a time to kill and a time to heal,
    a time to tear down and a time to build,
    a time to weep and a time to laugh,
    a time to mourn and a time to dance,
    a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
    a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
    a time to search and a time to give up,
    a time to keep and a time to throw away,
    a time to tear and a time to mend,
    a time to be silent and a time to speak,
    a time to love and a time to hate,
    a time for war and a time for peace.

What do workers gain from their toil? 10 I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race. 11 He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. 12 I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live. 13 That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil—this is the gift of God. Ecclesiastes 3:1-13 

I’ve spent so much time wishing for something else. When I was in High School I wished for college. When I was in college I wished for post grad. When I’ve been single I’ve wished for a boyfriend. After a life time of wishing I’ve realized that wishing for a circumstance other than the one I’m living now is time wasted. Embracing and enjoying your present, your life now, is the best and most productive way to live your life. So this Valentine’s Day I’m making a promise to myself to appreciate being single and appreciate being in this awkward post grad unemployed stage, because very soon it may change and I will never get to experience this present again.

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